A Man’s Guide to Gift-Wrapping. | Realm & Empire

A Man’s Guide to Gift-Wrapping.

Posted on December 18, 2014 by Realm & Empire

Image courtesy of IWM: Father Christmas presenting the Prime Minister's grandson Winston Churchill Jr with a gift in 1942. 

You’re sat there right now, a whole seven days before Christmas, chuffed that you have all your Christmas presents in the bag.  You haven’t set yourself up for a late-night panicked Christmas Eve dash like last year, no, no. Royal Mail has delivered on their promise and popped the gifts through the letterbox on time. Yes, you are one fine example of Christmas organisation. 10 points.

Now gents, you have the dreaded task of wrapping each one. Unfortunately for you, there’s no elfs on hand to help a fella out. And no, you can’t rope in your mum or sister either.

As we don’t like to see you struggling, we’ve decided to provide some helpful tips to being a gift-wrap pro. You’re welcome.

  • Firstly, stick on a Christmas movie. You may be sick of those Elf re-runs by the 25th, but don’t underestimate the calming effect of a festive soundtrack. It also helps to put your complaints into perspective. Think of all the problems Kevin had to deal with in Home Alone. And he was eight.
  • No matter what shape the present, ALWAYS PLACE IN A RECTANGULAR BOX. Whatever, you do don’t ignore this advice, it’s essential to achieving your gift-wrap pro status. Don’t get cocky and attempt to wrap anything circular, it will go horribly wrong.
  • Unravel your gift wrap of choice and place the box in the centre. Momentarily regret not buying a smaller gift. Ensure there’s enough paper to cover the present by doing a practise fold. Once you’re confident there will be no gaps, cut the paper.
  • Just a side tip – don’t use newspaper as an alternative to gift wrap. Even if your loved one spends a heap of time on pinterest, she won’t be amused with your attempt at “crafty environmental thoughtful-ness”.
  • Take care not to cut your finger on the scissors, then immediately go and fetch a plaster for the paper cut you’ve just given yourself.
  • Ok, so now you’re ready to get folding, bring the edge of the paper up and over the other edge and secure with tape.
  • Turning to the short ends of the box, fold the top parts of the paper on each side to flat triangle shapes. Stick to side of the box and voila, add a name tag and you’re done!
  • No need to bother with ribbon, glitter or any other crafty bits. You’ll just open yourself up for comparisons and mocking.
  • Walk confidently with your minimal packaged parcel and place under the tree.

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